why is it that i can talk to someone almost every day about anything and everything, and yet when i want to say something personal, something important . . .
Wait, no, that doesn't have an impact on your actions...
I would say it's because you aren't drunk enough. Yeah, that's it...
But honestly, you know exactly why it happens, and as long as you let yourself get frustrated, it will keep happening. My best (or worst, as it may be) is to throw caution to the wind. It is your own nerves that are preventing you from opening up. You already know what you want to say and how you want to say it (I imagine you have played out the entire conversation in your own head countless times), and the only remaining crutch is to just go ahead and do it. I understand if you are nervous, or if your tongue gets tied, or even if, when you finally say it, it doesn't come out exactly right.
The important thing is to just say it. The next time the opportunity arises, and you are sitting silently while the pressure fills your head, just let it out. Don't be that person who is continually stuck wondering "what or what if." The only thing worse than not knowing is not trying. We all have ideas and we all have predictions, but without action, they are merely wasted ideas.
But then, as I hinted at above, it is quite possible that I am simply drunk.
(but I don't think that makes my opinion any less important...)
unfortunately, alcohol isn't "liquid courage" like it can be for many other people. in my case, it turns me from "nervous and toungue-tied" to "silly and thus rendered impossible to be taken seriously."
i am the "what if" girl. just ask Steve Betz. i am a wholehearted chicken-shit.
and yes, i've run this conversation over and over in my head so many times and in so many ways, i've probably lived out five lifetimes. the few times i've been able to squeak something out, it's never come out right, never taken the way it was intended to be taken, and put me into such a nervous funk, it takes me days to recover.
:: sigh ::
i wish action was a lot easier to do than to write about.
Come on now, I don't believe that. Nervous, maybe, and completely justified in this situation, but I don't think chicken-shit is a valid explanation. It's just an excuse. I understand that liquid courage doesn't work for everyone, and I know that it often backfires, but maybe in this scenario you should give in to drunk-dialing (just make sure you dial the right number!).
I guess I should say you need to do something that fills you with actual courage, and then immediately follow that with a phone call or conversation that you are so eager to avoid. Maybe getting a big project completed at work, or putting on a great show or something. Just let that wave of excitement and courage push you into being able to open up. I've personally tried to make it a point in my life to never be left wondering. Sure, it backfires from time to time, but I still stand by my approach.
Since you have already run through the conversation, you should put it into perspective. You already have a good idea of what will be said, whether it be good or bad, so don't view it as a pressure situation. Imagine you are merely asking the person a multiple-choice question. Don't let yourself get worked up over it, because that is never the solution. Asking the question is really just a minor speed bump, so don't fret over that. If you want to get worked up about something, get worked up about something trivial, and put the pressure aside.
Admittedly, I'm not an inspiring person on any level, but I do think you would benefit significantly from getting it off your chest, for good or ill. Don't settle for the "what if." You owe it to yourself to take that first and important step forward. And you know that.
Comments
I would say it's because I'm drunk.
Wait, no, that doesn't have an impact on your actions...
I would say it's because you aren't drunk enough. Yeah, that's it...
But honestly, you know exactly why it happens, and as long as you let yourself get frustrated, it will keep happening. My best (or worst, as it may be) is to throw caution to the wind. It is your own nerves that are preventing you from opening up. You already know what you want to say and how you want to say it (I imagine you have played out the entire conversation in your own head countless times), and the only remaining crutch is to just go ahead and do it. I understand if you are nervous, or if your tongue gets tied, or even if, when you finally say it, it doesn't come out exactly right.
The important thing is to just say it. The next time the opportunity arises, and you are sitting silently while the pressure fills your head, just let it out. Don't be that person who is continually stuck wondering "what or what if." The only thing worse than not knowing is not trying. We all have ideas and we all have predictions, but without action, they are merely wasted ideas.
But then, as I hinted at above, it is quite possible that I am simply drunk.
(but I don't think that makes my opinion any less important...)
i am the "what if" girl. just ask Steve Betz.
i am a wholehearted chicken-shit.
and yes, i've run this conversation over and over in my head so many times and in so many ways, i've probably lived out five lifetimes. the few times i've been able to squeak something out, it's never come out right, never taken the way it was intended to be taken, and put me into such a nervous funk, it takes me days to recover.
:: sigh ::
i wish action was a lot easier to do than to write about.
(well, more than it already was.)
i am a wholehearted chicken-shit.
Come on now, I don't believe that. Nervous, maybe, and completely justified in this situation, but I don't think chicken-shit is a valid explanation. It's just an excuse. I understand that liquid courage doesn't work for everyone, and I know that it often backfires, but maybe in this scenario you should give in to drunk-dialing (just make sure you dial the right number!).
I guess I should say you need to do something that fills you with actual courage, and then immediately follow that with a phone call or conversation that you are so eager to avoid. Maybe getting a big project completed at work, or putting on a great show or something. Just let that wave of excitement and courage push you into being able to open up. I've personally tried to make it a point in my life to never be left wondering. Sure, it backfires from time to time, but I still stand by my approach.
Since you have already run through the conversation, you should put it into perspective. You already have a good idea of what will be said, whether it be good or bad, so don't view it as a pressure situation. Imagine you are merely asking the person a multiple-choice question. Don't let yourself get worked up over it, because that is never the solution. Asking the question is really just a minor speed bump, so don't fret over that. If you want to get worked up about something, get worked up about something trivial, and put the pressure aside.
Admittedly, I'm not an inspiring person on any level, but I do think you would benefit significantly from getting it off your chest, for good or ill. Don't settle for the "what if." You owe it to yourself to take that first and important step forward. And you know that.